3. The Rumitone

What is it?

Acorrding to the survivors of German Rave Parties, the Rumitone uses cylinders of various height and thickness that are bolted into a circular disc. Each cylinder has two bells mounted on it. The performer either strikes the cylinders or the bells with mallets or bows. Just for shits and giggles, the performer has to climb on to the disc which then begins rotating.

Why is it Ridiculous?

It is recommended that the Rumitone be played by two musicians for the sake of symbolism. Something about the movement of the performers as they spin around and intertwine. More likely, this is an attempt to distract the audience from realizing that they're watching two dudes in cameltoe-inducing leotards beat on rejected plumbing equipment. Even if the tickets were free, the price of your innocence needs to be taken into account.

2. Vegetable Instruments

What is it?

Vegetables are hollowed out and/or get holes punched in them in order to make wind instruments. We have only one piece of advice: don't invite these people to your dinner party.

Why is it Ridiculous?

If vegetables were meant to be used as instruments they would fucking grow that way! The reputation of North Americans is already poor without us turning the rest of the world's food supply into Maracas. We don't care if you hate salad, just eat it damnit!

1. Uber Organ

What is it?

The Uber Organ is composed from a massive set of tubes which carry pressurized air. When the air reaches the steel cylinders that are mounted at varying intervals in the tubes , a horn-like song is produced. The input is sheet music denoted using black bars of varying lengths. As each black bar passes under the photosensitive reader, air is forced into one of the tubes, thereby producing a note. Put another way, imagine if Godzilla was actually a set of bagpipes.

Why is it Ridiculous?

Besides looking like it is used to produce Zergling, the sheer scale of this monstrosity alone makes it ridiculous. It covers an area of 15,000 square feet. To imagine the experience of hearing this instrument, picture a really big dude with bagpipes following you around wherever you go. Also, he has massive flailing tentacles.