6. Harmonic Generator

What is it?

The piano keys on the keyboard control motors inside the large metallic drum. The motors are connected to brushes which strike the strings that are pulled taut around the outside of the drum. If this description doesn't make any sense, just imagine the machine that Satan uses to create misery and suffering in the world - this is the IMPROVED version of that machine.

Why is it Ridiculous?

We're pretty sure this is what opened the portal that released The Horde. Also, if anyone turns up to your talent show audition with one of these, the advisable course of action is to start drawing pentagrams around yourself and everyone you care about. Failing that, you can always put this thing on your front lawn and watch your incidences of burglary and Jehovah's witnesses plummet to zero.

5 . The Jew's Harp

What is it?

Essentially this is a mouth harp that is played by, wait for it, putting it INTO your mouth. The tongue portion goes inside and the frame is held in place by the performer's teeth or lips, thus creating an amplifier from the player's jawbone. Then, the reed is plucked with a finger to produce music. The resulting sound has been described as being similar to a guy attempting to eat a vibrating piece of metal.

Why is it Ridiculous?

According to The Ethereal Body of Infinite Knowledge (Wikipedia), the name of this instrument has no connection to Judaism. However, the Oxford English Dictionary claims that the prefix was appended to the name because it made commercial sense. This was done despite the mediocre success of the the Jew's Beard Trimmer and the Jew's Rotating Yamakah Rack. Some people are uncomfortable playing the flute because all that blowing and fingering is a little too homoerotic. Getting to third base with a piece of metal probably won't appeal to these people either. Aren't you glad someone came up with the idea of not having to put musical instruments into your mouth?

4. Pikasso

What is it?

Four necks. Two sound holes. 42 strings. All biz-nass! It's penis envy among guitar players.

Why is it Ridiculous?

We're not sure how many hands are required to play this thing successfully, but your band probably needs a few more guys. As soon as the double-necked guitar was created, it was only a matter of time before something like this was dreamt up. Why? Because fuck you, our bass player quit.