3. Smashing Instruments

It's unclear what motivates artists to smash their instruments. While it may have been edgy and rebellious at some point, now it's just tacky. You're just breaking equipment. Other professions don't require the destruction of equipment. What if you smashed the photocopier after your sales presentation?

Worst Offender: Nirvana

Why it Needs to Stop

Because it's just pointless. You're forcing sweatshops to crank out hundreds of guitars just so that you can feel manly. Do you smash your tour bus after a performance or beat your groupies? Maybe you should start.

2. Pained Facial Expressions

You can't tell me you're that upset. Too many women to choose from? Arms too tired from wearing all that jewelry? If your life is so bad that you can't get through a shoot without breaking down and crying, there is no hope for the rest of us average people.

Worst Offender: Staind - Home

Why it Needs to Stop

Imagine if you did that at your job. The boss tells you to create a marketing report and you collapse to your knees and start weeping. Why are pained expressions and angst so much more acceptable in a music video?

1. Random Mysterious (But Hot) Girl

You've seen this girl. She appears at the beginning of every video without any explanation. It's unclear what her agenda is, but you find yourself wanting to know because she's hot. If the opening sequence featured a fat chick in a gloomy room, you'd assume she's trying out some crazy lock-yourself-in-a-room diet and forget all about it. The problems of beautiful people are simply more important.

Worst Offender: Linkin Park - Crawling

Why it Needs to Stop

It's bad enough that if a fat girl's car breaks down, passing motorists snicker and mumble "must've been the suspension". But if a hot girl's car breaks down, fifteen guys become involved in a multicar pileup trying to be first to pull over. We're already conditioned not to care about people we don't find attractive, music videos only serve to reinforce this behavior.